It's the climb.

27 December 2009

yay:D i am finally 18!((:

anyway,thank you to those who went kukup,went tuanqi and went for choir thanksgiving and wished me happy birthday(:
haha,like what corrine and pingshun had said,
sang birthday song 3 times:D thank you!(:

thank you yihan for the nice nice fireworks!(:
i thought you had forgotten about it
so was really surprised(:
thank you soo much!

thank you wenhan,jiemin,ignatious,songyang,dage for the gifts!(:
i really love them a lot(:

oh,thank you gabby and shumin(:
i tell you okay!
i am really touched by you all eh(:
so i promise i will go back for trg soon(:
thank you so much for celebrating my birthday with me!
and i miss you all sooooo much:(

i love my birthday!(:
thank you sooo much for making this birthday such a memorable one(:

p.s. sometimes i have no idea if i should give you up, knowing that there will not be any outcome and i am letting myself sink in deeper.i know i promised that i will get over it, but can i just let it go just like that? should i let it go just like that? because i am 18,so i should act more maturely and let it go and not hang on to something that i know there will be no outcome. i am lost and confused.

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20 December 2009

Bring the noise- Double Dutch

I don't wanna see you sad
You don't have to feel so bad
And everything just seems so far away

I'm always here to make you smile
Forget your troubles for a while
I am here to get you on your way

'cause there's a place
Far away from here
Where you won't feel any pain or fear

Close your eyes
And I'll take you there
Smiling faces are everywhere

Bring the noise
Give me your faces
Bring the noise

how i wish,i am really here to make you smile
do you know,you mean a lot to me?
and is true,i don't want to make you sad:(

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15 December 2009

there are times when i think that i am a lousy friend
times like this
what do you want me to do?
i am so tired
i have to keep guessing and guessing and guessing
why can't things just be simple?
any form of upset,just say it out
is it that hard?

everytime i thought that i have overcome one friendship problem
another will come along
is this like what the pastor had said?
because i keep failing so i will keep getting friendship problems?
so that i can pass it one day?
you know what,
sometimes i am so tired of close friendships
that i really feel like doing without
ahh,i am going to sleep
i shall off my phone
i shall sleep
i shall ignore
i shall watch my disc
i shall just wish that tomorrow never comes
i shall sleep and not wake up
i shall forget that i have friends

go away go away go away!

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Sin or Seek aka SOS

11 December 2009

the 4 days 3 nights SOS camp ended today
and i guess i want to share about this camp on my blog(:

This camp has been a rather exciting one, very different from the previous camps i have been to.
For one, there are more guys than girls
this is unique enough
and the second thing is,
the campers are all really young like sec 1 and 2s(:
before the start of the leaders camp,
i was really hesitant about this camp
not really sure how i should lead my group
and everything..

I really want to thank God for leading me through this camp
without him, i think i probably wouldn't have been able to lead this group properly
i find my group really challenging because my group members are all below 15
and i am going to 18 soon:X
the only 2 people who are slightly younger are people who will not be in the group most of the time
so yah, it was a little hard to communicate
and i kind of get irritated at my group
and i admit i am not very tactful in my words
and i don't really know how to speak to them:X
but thank God,
because of his guidance, i manage to lead this group fairly alright
at least they do listen to me and get things done(:
and and and..God gave good weather throughout these 4 days
especially when we all thought it will rain during amazing race
God gave a weather that is cooling, not too hot or cold(:
hmm, during the amazing race,
my group members sort of got lost:X
and i was really scared
so i got all the group members together and we prayed
and guess what, dage called and tell me that he had found them:D
yay(: thank you God!
i love you!:D

Secondly, i want to tell Jie Han and Gladys..
Good job and well done:D
this camp is really well- organised and well planned((:
can tell that you all really put in a lot of effort into this camp
sleeping late every night discussing about the next day programme
well done:D

Next, i want to talk about my group- Peirasmos
I am so sorry that i keep forgetting our name:X
keep mixing up with diramisu:X
anyway, i have a very interesting group.
Initially, our morale was really low and we sort of got last for the night games:X
so everyone was really upset and stuff
and then the next day, our morale got slightly higher
and we really put in a lot of effort in the amazing race(:
so i was telling my group that the last man is your fastest
cuz our group has people who can run really fast and people who cannot run at all
so i was kind of telling them about the above quote
and they were really cooperative
so everyone started cheering the people at the back
and although we didn't win,
but i guess we all learn a very important lesson
that winning is not everything
teamwork is(:
okay, and on the third day, they were fantastic!
everyone did so well in the morning games, station games and prop night
i am so proud of them and the effort they'd put in!(:
like what Bing guo says,
Effort 100 marks:D
and you know what..
we managed to clinch a second placing!((:
GOOD JOB perasmos!:D

to..
Xiu Cheng: Da Ge! thank you so much for your guidance to me these 4 days.i really learnt a lot from you especially the way you treat people(: so nice and so sincere and so patient! and you were so encouraging when i was upset,discouraged!thank you da ge!and you are really a good dao shi!seriously, like all your sharings and stuff!i am sorry for cutting you off sometimes cuz i am too eager to share:X sorry sorry!but you make a good dao shi, really:D

Jie Han: Camp commander!:D thank you so much for your help in communicating with the guys in our group and also, for always trying your best to be in the group to help(: i particularly remember during the rehearsals for prop night, you always try your very best to be there to act and you will always make it a point to cheer with the group to boost the team's morale(:thank you soo soo much ying zhang!(: dunno if you will read this post but i really want you to know that you are not blur and you are a fantastic ying zhang(:

Marcus: Logistics!!((:i don't really know you very well because didn't talk to you much but i really appreciate your help in the group. and really thank you for being there for amazing race!(: and also, for sharing sincerely during our sharing sessions and always making it a point to be in the group to help me!and thank you for your post card!:D if you are reading this, even though i already know who you are, but i am still really touched because i know is hard for you to write stuff for people:Dthank you marcus!(:

Bing Guo: hey!i am sooo sorry for always misunderstanding your facial expression okay:X please forgive me!i tend to read too much into it!sorry sorry!but you are a fantastic camper!really!taking initiative,cooperative and so humourous!and your words are so direct and so true!(: you have brought so much joy into our group and without you, i think i will have more difficulty staying high throughout the camp! and good performance for prop night:D effort 100 marks, actual score 100 marks too!(:

Jeryl: hello!:Dyou are really cute you know(: everytime i see you smile will bring a smile to me face!(: must come for fellowship with us on sunday okay!i dun want to lose in touch with you:D although you were a little uncooperative at first, but you are a really great camper for the rest of the time!(:

Benjamin: hey!:Di think you are a rather sensitive and nice person because you always make it a point to reply fast to your angel and mortal. writing it at any available time you have!:D thank you for your perseverance and the effort you have put into the group(: running your very best for the amazing race!don't always zone out okay!:D Come to peixun too:D

grace: hey dear!(: you are a sweet and inquistive girl:D haha(:thank you for being so cooperative during games and being a fantastic camper!(:Also, thank you for being so sincere in your sharing!(: Continue to grow in Christ and His words alright!:D

Huiqin: :Di think you are the one that understands how i feel the most during camp days. always asking me if i was okay, keeping the guys quiet when i am too tired to do anything else anymore.i know you probably were very tired due to all the preparation for food but you still make it a point to care for me(: thank you dear! a million(: i am really glad that you are in my group, for understanding how i feel. the late nights of complaining. hope to know more about you:D

yihan: thank you for advising me what i should do when i am lost and confused and felt like giving up. Also, for reminding me to always look to God and do what is pleasing to God(: thank you so much!

zane: haha(: well done!:D the programmes and games are really perfect and everything is so well- planned!xin ku ni le!(: thank you for your post card and the encouragement you had given me during camp. all the weird shouting across table!(:you have help me to relieve stress and make me feel happier!

Zhengyang: :Dyou are really the joke!(:haha!thank you for adding so much colours because of your lame-ness!:Di don't really know what to say, but thank you!really(:

wenhan: hello angel!haha, i was quite surprised that you are my angel because your handwriting keep changing and i always thought my angel was a girl because of the nice handwriting(: haha, and i am sorry for all the late replies!haha. thank you for the care and concern you have showered me throughout the whole camp and also for the chocolate(: haha, oh yah, and the losenges, honey water drink(: oh, and well done!(: xin ku ni le! can see you get really stressed up during camp with the overwhelming workload to do!(:and good job!:D

isaac: haha, i don't really know what to say eh:X cuz you are most of the time not in the group because of the other stuff but still, thank you for guiding us during the sharing sessions(:

joey: hello dear!thank you for your wonderful postcard and for praying for me and listening to my complaints!:D really glad to find a friend like you who share the same thinking towards christianity!(: and you are really a fantastic leader too!:D

i think i didn't miss out anyone. okay, i hope i didn't:Dokay,i shall go and sleep now, i am really tired and drain out(:

SOS RAWKS!:D

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05 December 2009

there are days when we expect people from a certain place to be different
we expect people to react according to how we want them to
and when it turns out the other way
we blame it on the fact that people do not care,
do not understand.
when you look at things from the other angle
you may realise that everyone do care except from a different angle
an angle where people who have already formulate a conclusion not see

i guess, everyone expect people from church to be different
how different?
who are we to judge whether people are hypocrites a not?

sometimes life is really an irony
we have expectations for others,
we judge others
and we hate it when others impose expectations on us
hate it when people judge us.

i guess, at the end of the day,
the grass is always greener on the other side
we tend to wonder why are non-christians treating us better than the christians
why do non-christians have certain qualities that christians not have?
but how do we compare when the basis of comparison is already different?
when the level of comparison is not the same from the start?

太陽已昇起，轉眼由東到西，我要把握時機，創造我的天地，
我實在歡喜主和我在一起，象徵著主的愛世界顯得美麗。
賜給我純潔的友誼……，這裡無眼淚無恐懼。
我專心倚賴基督，接受救主的應許，專心接受救主的應許。

萬山相隔離，千水一望無際，今天你我相遇，誰安排誰的主意，
我實在歡喜主和我們在一起，象徵著主的愛世界顯得美麗。
賜給我純潔的友誼……，這裡無眼淚無恐懼。
把我們歡笑歌聲，飛揚在高山小溪，一起飛揚在高山小溪。

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03 December 2009

being stuck in a middle,not knowing where to go
and is kind of annoying,
because it is none of my business to begin with
and the best thing is..
i guess the person i am caring about
have no idea that i am facing the struggle because of him/her

i tend to wonder..
do we all allow ourselves to be trapped in our sorrows so much
that we have forgotten about the people around us
that because of their decision
they have affected people's lives one way or the other.

there are many moments when i feel like giving up
just be like anyone on the streets
to just say things that will please my friend
can i?
i am getting tired..
maybe i really should not care anymore.
just be like any friend on the streets
afterall, i have done so much
things that need to be said have been said..
things that need to be done have been done.
can i just let go?
afterall,at the end of the day,
God's will will be done.
then why do i have to bother to advise my friend?
making myself doubt my own religion, my own values.

i guess, at the end of the day,
no matter how tired i am
i know that so long as i listen to God
stand by his teaching
i will be fine.
and that's the best part.
since i am, why should i bother about my friend?
whether he or she does it or not..
why do i have to care?

i am so confused..
argh..someone..help me:(

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28 November 2009

i feel like blogging,
but i don't really know what to blog
there are so many things in my mind
is driving me crazy
i want to share
but you know, when you look around you
you see a lot of people who may be close to you
but you just cannot bring yourself to share your innermost thoughts with them
and then you wonder,
what an awful friend you are
because you cannot even share things with your closer friends?
maybe is really fear bah
like what someone said in her blog(:
fear to trust,
fear of being hurt
fear to let go

oh no, i cannot rationalise my thought again
let's hope today will be a different day
i really hate to be upset on a sunday.

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annabel
27/12
capricornian
child of God
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如果要我了解这世界，
我将会花尽我一生的眼泪
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